Updated: Apr 6
Rude. Disrespectful. Offensive. Illiterate. Do you want to be THAT guy?
I've encountered many novices and even "experienced" slaves in those categories. Only a handful managed to impress and prove themselves worthy enough to gain an attention of a Domme. I can't count how many times I had to repeat Myself - I'm a Dominatrix, not a fetish provider or an escort.
Some of these guys watches videos that's categorise as 'Femdom' in general porn sites. They get turn on by it, send a text with their dicks to do the same exact thing with a Professional Dominatrix. That to Me, sounds like a joke and wrong in so many levels - Especially when you request for us to switch as a submissive, rimming, pussy worship, sex, intimacy or anything that ends with a 'job'.
Want those? There's escorts who are fetish-friendly and I'll be glad to direct you that way - Only if you're respectful. Alternatively, get your wife, girlfriend or fuckbuddy to explore with you - BUT I can't guarantee whether they have the knowledge to keep you safe and alive unless they're in the kink community or at least do their research (NOT fifty shades of grey).
Most importantly, just don't waste Our bandwidth and Our precious time to reply to your nonsense.
I can't emphasise enough on research on what ticks you on (or off). It is alright if you don't know what exactly turns you on because you've yet to explore but it's good to have something in mind rather than nothing. My play page (www.mistresscaittrin.com/play) shows a glimpse on what are the things that might interest you too.
I don't play with anyone who said they have no limits. You honestly don't know what you want at all and clearly shows you have no respect for your own well-being and it is an indication that I can do whatever I want including caning your dick till it's malfunctioning or even castration because you give consent to it.
[FINDING A DOMME TO SERVE]
I always believe that mutual connection is important when you serve a Domme. Make sure that you're contacting the real one because there's so many impersonators out there. Look through Her websites and social media to see if Her style matches with yours. For example, if you're not into pain - Don't look for sadists obviously.
Everyone have their own preferences on looks. Every Domme have their own style and don't expect everyone to be the same. Also, don't expect a free entertainment. She may be nice but don't push Her tolerance level. You are not the only one who exist in Her life.
[LANGUAGE AND MANNERS]
Get the correct language when you contact Her. English is one of the most spoken language in the world but of course, some uses German or Arabic. Do not use short forms or horrible spelling that doesn't make any sense.
Not your first language? Use a translator and spell checker. How are you going to communicate in real life if you can't even convey a proper message virtually? Find another Mistress that speaks your language. Do you really want to serve Her? Learn Her language.
Vulgarities and demeaning words should be out of your vocabulary. Calling Her a slut or a bitch just because She didn't meet YOUR expectations? You shouldn't be going out of your house.
Do not call Her unless She gives you the permission. Of course, check her time zone and don't buzz Her phone when She's asleep.
[ BEFORE GAINING HER ATTENTION ]
Ensure that you get the right channel to contact Her. Usually through email, website submission form (or etc). On Her social media or Fetlife? I don't think you'll ever get a reply amongst the flood of timewasters in Her inbox and she will think you're one too because you can't read instructions.
DO NOT SEND ANY PICTURES. We don't want to see it. How good looking your face or body doesn't matter. Same goes to your dick too. It's gross. We are not turn on by it. Your manners is.
Last Minutes? Or are you just horny at that point of time?
Do you expect Her to drop whatever she's doing that day, dress up and meet you with all Her toys? You wouldn't like it either if you're not prepared for a presentation but your boss suddenly announce a meeting just before your lunch time when you already had a lunch date planned ahead.
I always plan at least two weeks or even at least a month in advance. It's good to state your availability on your preferred days and time of the day so that She can look into Her schedule and see if it matches with yours. Unless she announce in Her social media that she have an opening slot available.
[ OWNERSHIP ]
If She's a Professional Dominatrix, chances are She already have Her own choices of personal playthings. It only shows you just want a 'free play'. Honestly, it sounded like you're knocking Her door like a salesman although She doesn't want to buy anything from you and you keep pushing Her for it.
Even as a personal slave, there's alot of commitments, time and effort to be put in, not just monetary. (If you can't even support yourself, how are you going to support Her?) Chemistry plays a huge part even if you want to be a house maid.
Do you have any skills that you're worth keeping for?
[ WHO ARE YOU? ]
You've done your research about your kinks and hard limits? Well done.
Do you have a name that We can remember and address you as? If you call yourself - For example: A slave, bitch, slut or small dick without any other names - You wouldn't be outstanding either because there's so many of you calling the same thing.
Get an alias - Evan, or if you prefer Us to call you by your real name to avoid confusion.
Are you into feminisation? What's your feminine name? Example - Sissy Giselle, Maid Melanie.
We want to treat you as a human too.
[YOUR FIRST CONTACT]
What should your first message to Her be? Don't just say hello and just disappear and expect a reply from Her. If she have a submission form, fill that up accordingly. Incomplete submission? You wouldn't get a reply either. Again, type in proper sentences and not short forms or in point form.
Think of it as you're sending a job application. Greet Her and tell Her where do you find Her from. Twitter? A certain online directory?
Introduce yourself - Your name, age (or age range). You wouldn't want Her to assume that you have the same physical/fitness level in comparison of a 21 year old young lad and 60 years old man.
When She requests for your race/nationality - It doesn't mean She's racists. You wouldn't want Her to expect searching for an Asian man in the hotel lobby but you're actually a Caucasian. Even if you tell Her that you're wearing a blue shirt. Umm, isn't majority of men wearing blue shirt?
Which city would you like to serve Her at? Is She based in that city only or is She a touring Domme?
I always have boys who are based in Singapore assumes that I am just a 'local Mistress'. If I'm in Melbourne at that point of time, I will assume that you're in the city that I'm in. Of course, state your availability as mentioned earlier.
What are your kinks, soft and hard limits? What are the things you are willing to try?
I'm not a fetish provider. If you expect Me to tick your checklist or follow step by step like a script, find someone else. I spent hours, days and months building My social media and website. Read it up. Some things isn't enough to be type in one paragraph.
Stating your kinks and limits allows Me to plan and explore, My pleasure as a priority. I will do things that you will fancy too as long it doesn't crosses your boundary.
Stating medical conditions are so important. We will be wary if you have old knee injury or your asshole doesn't have its elasticity anymore due to aging or especially if you're partially deaf. I don't shout to make My point across but if you can't even hear Me, how are you going to follow My instructions?
Have you served any Dommes before? Who are they? Or is this your first time?
Finally, thank Her for Her precious time and consider your application, whether you're worthy enough to serve Her.
If She does not get back to you, prompt Her nicely whether She received your application. She might be busy, you're drown in Her bunch of timewasters messages or She already put you in the folder 'Trash Subs Application'.
If She gives you a second chance, don't lose that opportunity.
[CAN YOU AFFORD HER TIME?]
This is pretty much straight forward. If you know you're a broke lad, don't waste Her time by contacting Her in the first place or bargain.
I appreciate those who save it up just to serve Me as much as those who are well to do and generous.
If she's been around for awhile and is independent, chances are Her tribute rates are on a high side. You'll also have to look at which country she is in and where she is hosting at. I thought it was hilarious when they curse at Me because I overcharged compared to Mistresses in the States/Europe/Other parts of Asia but unfortunately, I am living in one of the world's most expensive city in the world.
Especially in Singapore or Hong Kong, a night in this decent size room (Not a suite) is at least HKD4845 before taxes & depending on which day. It is equivalent to a minimum of SGD860 or USD620 per night. If your tributes is nowhere near there (or at least half), don't expect the room to be luxurious or within the CBD.
She also needs time to unwind or get a room service for food or professional massage if She's mentally exhausted. We're not robots who can switch on and off to play.
Also, most Dominatrices including Me spent their tributes by attending workshops (locally/overseas) to upgrade their skills, replace never ending toys collection if they're broken, adding quality outfits in Our closet and many more.
When she does not state Her tribute rates out openly, there's always reasons why. It is rude to ask Her in your first message to her 'How much?'
What do you mean by how much? Does My life worth 'this much?' You make it sound like she's an object in a shop.
Once you successfully get to know Her tribute rates, if you can't afford - It's basic courtesy to APOLOGISE rather than just disappear into thin air. You'll never know she will ever blacklist you and inform Her other Mistresses friends to avoid such timewasters like you.
Whether you're a novice or an experienced slave, it is ideal to improve yourself. If you're respectful, literate and have patience, you'll head to the right direction.
All the best and good luck!